The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

I'll start with the good because if I start with the bad, I may never make it to the good parts.

The Good

Mine and Mary Kate's first mother-daughter after school tea. I've been waiting a lot of years to do this with my daughter. I read about it in a book once (I think it was Elizabeth George) and always thought it'd be so special. Since Mary Kate pretty much never takes a nap now, I figured it was a good time to start. MK started 4K this week, something I debated all summer because it would mean her being at school 4 days a week (only from 10-2). As soon as we got back to Macon, all Mary Kate could talk about was going to school, so I signed her up. She absolutely loves it. And, I love our special tea time...just the two of us. We use our fine china, which totally confused Mary Kate. She kept asking me questions about China (the country). I picked flowers. I made cookies from a special recipe from a friend of mine. I asked her about her day, and then she surprised me by asking me, "Well, Mom, what did you do today?" And replied, "Wow, that was a lot to do." We also read a short book together. It was wonderful. Today after I picked her up from school, she asked if we were going to have special time again and was ecstatic when I said yes. She was even more excited when she found out it would be everyday after school. Our two tea times have, by far, been the highlights of the last week and a half.

The Bad

Tiramisu! Lucky for me, Olive Garden was a little late on our catered lunch order for our leadership on Sunday. They apologized by giving us an entire Tiramisu cake...my favorite. I put it in the freezer to save for a Stratford team dinner we're having later this week. So, the last couple of nights, I've been chiseling out a piece of cake (literally takes about 10 minutes to get it out) to enjoy as my reward for dealing with The Ugly.

The Ugly

I thought that the end of sabbatical would bring the end of the blog, but maybe this will be my last entry (or not...can't decide). I can go out with a touch of vulnerability and reality. I know blogs usually seem a little one sided and glamorous, but I feel like I've been pretty honest about the hard days/phases we've gone through. So, I'll be honest about this as well. These past two weeks have been some of the hardest weeks Joel and I have had as parents (seriously may pass our Aswinement at Frontier). These last couple of days have especially overwhelmed me. I'm pretty sure that I've broken down and cried (like boohooed) at least 5 times a day. My poor husband had to deal with me crying in the middle of Fountain of Juice today. Basically, our children have been insufferable. And, my fear is that, to them, I have been just as insufferable. Our days have been like a broken record on repeat with lots of disobedience, disrespect, talking back (a new one), yelling, confessing, forgiving (with brief moments of joy, laughter, and peace mixed in). We've turned over enough new leaves to go through a forest of trees. Joel and I are both clueless as to what is going on and what to do about it. I wonder if our 3 months of sabbatical totally screwed them up for coming back to reality. Or, if God was using our 3 months to prepare us for whatever "this" is. Because that's the crazy thing...my time with the Lord has never been sweeter and richer. I've never been more in tune with what the Lord is saying to me. I have never focused more on the presence of the Lord. So, yes, it's obvious that the Lord is doing something in this, but I wish I'd just "get it" so we can move on from here because it's no fun. I know things will get better, and venting about it will help that. It usually makes me feel a little less fearful about things to get it out in the open. I feel like the Lord led me to Psalm 46 today...

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress . Come and see the works of the Lord, the desolations he has brought on the earth. He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire. Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord Almighty is with us, the God of Jacob is our fortress."

As I'm writing this, Joel's watching The Lord of the Rings...I think he was just wanting to remember New Zealand (which I found myself longing for today). He's constantly tossing out quotes from the movie, mostly reminding me about how corrupt our humanity is. This quote from Gandalf seemed pretty applicable..."Think of the treasure at the end and forget the forest and the dragon, at any rate until tomorrow morning."