Processing

This picture was taken at the 2008 Georgia vs. Tennessee game. I believe that this was the Saturday before the Monday that Sweeney went in for gall bladder surgery and discovered the cancerous tumor.

There are so many thoughts running through my head about Sweeney's journey...not just with cancer, but in life. If you're not familiar with his story, click on his Caring bridge site from my blog list. There are so many nuggets of inspiration that I don't want to escape me, so I feel the need to sit down and process for a bit. Attending Sweeney's Memorial service on Wednesday was a privilege. That sounds weird to say...I'd much rather that Sweeney still be here and that there had not been such a service. However, I knew that I was experiencing something extraordinary with hundreds of other people. The presence of the Lord was there...and it was powerful. The Lord was worshiped and He was glorified. In the words of Cabell, "Sweeney was a giant of a man." To hear story after story of how Sweeney impacted high school kids, friends, Young Life committee, family, and Young Life staff, is very telling of the kind of man that he was. There were many, many things said about him, but the most common attributes were kind, humble, a great friend, extraordinary, servant, and, most of all, a man who adored, loved, and served his wife. However selfish it may be, it's difficult to attend a memorial and not wonder what people would say about you. It's even more difficult when you realize that you pale in comparison to that person. If I were not a follower of Christ, I strongly believe that feelings of jealousy and envy would be warring about in my mind. And, yes, even as a Christian, I have to fight those tendencies at times because how could I not want to be like Sweeney? How could I not want the kind of friendship that Jonesie and Sweeney shared? How could I not want to build relationships with high school kids like Sweeney did? How could I not want to bring friends to Christ like Sweeney? How could I not want a marriage like Cabell and Sweeney's? But, because I am a follower of Christ, I know that all of Sweeney's amazing attributes and relationships are a reflection of Jesus Christ. Instead of being jealous, I am humbled before my God. Instead of being bitter, I look to Jesus and long to become more like Him. Instead of giving up and thinking that I could never be that person, I surrender to my Lord and allow Him to mold me into who He created me to be. Leaving Sweeney's memorial, I had an overwhelming desire to be with the Lord, to know Him deeper, to glorify Him, and I'm thankful to Sweeney for that.